It’s almost impossible to go through life without experiencing trauma. However, our culture and society often disregards the types of trauma that can happen in day to day life. We still believe that trauma is “big events”, for example; rape, robbery, physical abuse, car accident, or natural disasters. Anyone who experiences any of these deserves attention and support.
But the truth is trauma is any experience where our emotional response was too much for us to handle. Where we didn’t have the resources to process what was happening to us in our physical, emotional and spiritual body. And often this can be something that we experienced repeatedly as a child or in an unhealthy adult relationship.
Often times, we have developed coping mechanisms to deal with these traumas; becoming addicted to our means of escaping. We disconnect from our true selves, from our centre and we abandon ourselves repeatedly in an effort to find relief. We are left feeling lost, stuck, lonely and unworthy of love as adults and we aren’t really even sure why.
Childhood and relationship trauma includes:
- Being told your version of reality is wrong.
- Not feeling seen or heard.
- Being told (directly or indirectly) that you can’t feel a certain way (“don’t cry”, “stop being so oversensitive”).
- Having a parent or partner who focuses on your appearance and often finds fault.
- Having a parent who cannot regulate their emotions.
- Feeling like you must change in order to be loved.
- Feeling disconnected from your parents or partner.
In order for us to move forward and not repeat patterns of trauma, we must acknowledge the trauma of the child self and reconnect to the fractured the self, in order to return to wholeness. I provide space for clients to trust that they are held while they delve into these experiences and allow themselves to complete the trauma cycle, overcoming fear and finding a sense of calm.