Separating with care: counselling for parents who are parting
Separating with care is counselling for parents who have decided to end their relationship and want to part with mutual respect and kindness, keeping what matters most, especially your children, at the centre. I’m Siobhan Breslin, a Registered Wellness Counsellor in Noordhoek, Cape Town, and online. I usually recommend three to four sessions.
Are you parents who have decided to end your relationship?
Even when the decision has been made, this can be a painful time.
Separating with care, sometimes called conscious uncoupling, is an invitation to separate with mutual respect and kindness, towards yourself and each other.
How will counselling help us?
I’ll support you to hold ego to one side, so that further hurt and pain can be avoided.
You’ll learn tools to self-regulate (to settle your own feelings when things become heated) and to recognise the Four Horsemen and their antidotes, so that your conversations stay focused on what matters, especially your children.
The Four Horsemen are four patterns in conflict that Dr John Gottman warns against: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Each has an antidote, a different way of responding, and these are among the tools you’ll learn.
Is this the same as mediation?
No. This is not mediation, but it gives you skills that can make mediation easier and more effective.
It is not legal or financial advice either. A family lawyer or a mediator can help with those alongside our work.
Who is it for?
Parents who have decided to separate and want to do it with respect and kindness.
How many sessions will we need?
There is no fixed number of sessions, but I recommend three to four.
How do the first sessions work?
This work follows the same opening as my couples counselling:
- First session (90 minutes): getting to know both of you, including your relationship history, current challenges and goals.
- Second session: individual meetings with each partner (45 to 60 minutes each), for a deeper understanding of each person’s perspective and concerns.
- From session three onwards (ongoing sessions, 90 minutes): we begin a tailored plan based on what we learned in the first two sessions.
Can we have sessions in person or online?
Both. Sessions are available in person at Lake Michelle, Noordhoek, Cape Town, and online, mainly on Zoom (Google Meet is also possible).
What does it cost?
Separating with care is charged at my couples rate, per session.
Clients living in South Africa: R1,575. Clients outside South Africa: £90.
You can pay by EFT, UK bank transfer, credit or debit card, or cash.
How do we book?
Either of you can get in touch. If you’d like to meet me first, please book a free 15-minute online intro call.
- Choose a date and time on my online calendar: calendly.com/holistic-life-counselling
- Or send me a WhatsApp on 079 107 4825: Book on WhatsApp
My working hours (South African time):
Monday to Thursday 08:00 to 17:30
Friday 08:00 to 15:00
Questions parents ask
Is this the same as divorce mediation?
No. Mediation helps you reach practical agreements. This counselling gives you the skills to keep your conversations respectful and focused, which can make mediation easier and more effective.
Will this help us talk about our children?
Yes. Keeping your conversations focused on what matters, especially your children, is at the heart of this work.
Can we do this online?
Yes. Sessions are on Zoom, or Google Meet if you prefer, as well as in person in Noordhoek.
Who will we be working with?
With me, Siobhan Breslin, a Registered Wellness Counsellor with the ASCHP (Practice No. WC20/664). I'm Gottman Method trained: I've completed The Gottman Institute's Level 1 training and I'm working on Level 2. I'm not a psychologist; if either of you needs support beyond what I offer, I'll help you find the right person.
